Collage by Rip Shredder

I’ve been waiting with much anticipation the release of the 2009 ACL lineup and I couldn’t be happier.  Of course the headliners are the main attraction and this year’s selections are assembled to make your girlfriend’s wet dreams come true.  With lady killers such as Kings of Leon, Jon Legend, and Dave Matthews, who couldn’t be feeling gayer then newlyweds on honeymoon in Paris.  Pearl Jam is there to bring some worn-out 90’s rock flavor to the mix but I’m not fooled.  I heard that Eddie Vedder album for six months straight, every time I  got into my girlfriend’s car.

This should be the single man’s event of the year with bus loads of hot sorority chicks pouring in to get a look at Ben Harper’s hair.  Concerts like this are great too because girl’s are so excited fantasizing about hot male vocalists that the average Joe’s chances of getting stinky fingers, while laying on a blanket on the ample ground’s of Zilker Park, increases by over fifty percent.  I’ve heard internet rumors that Disney will be active in the development of the 2010 ACL lineup as the promoters  continue to market the event as a young girl’s “heaven on earth”.  I’m getting a three day pass.

- Rip Shredder

Here’s the official lineup: http://2009.aclfestival.com/